who will read this? i suppose i don't know, i suppose it doesn't matter.

so the truth is this:
i am on a waiting list for treatment for a mental illness.
for as long as the Universe has been, by name, my favourite thing, (which to ask my then-religion teacher, stretches back to at least age 7 or 8) i have had trouble fitting into it.
i feel like i am betraying Her because in the context of my afflictions i inflict a very ugly destruction on the world; upon my body, upon the lives of those close… Continue

LUST OVER SOME ONE THAT LIES TO YOU BUT THE LUSTING IS STRONG AND THE LIES ARE HURTING JUST MORE THEN I PLANNED.

ITS GOOD TO LUST OVER THE ONES YOU WANT BUT WHEN THE LIES GET TO BE TO MUCH YOU NEED TO SIT THAT PERSON FREE.

NO ONE NEEDS TO BE LIED TO THERE IS NO NEED FOR IT AT ALL FOR THE TRUTH WILL TAKE YOU FARTHER THEN ANY LIE WILL.

HOLD YOUR TONGUE FROM DOING HARM TO THE ONE YOU LUST FOR IF SHE IS THE ONE DOING THE LIEING.

REMEMBER IF ITS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE THEN IT IS. SO WATCH THE ONE YOU… Continue

There is more; elements were forgotten as I was writing the last post.

I woke up the morning of the 16th with a jolt. My girlfriend had touched me to wake me up from a nightmare:


I held an old-fashioned reciever of a telephone to my ear, and through it I could hear my best-friend's girlfriend struggling, and the very heavy breathing of someone unknown. Then I heard a gunshot through the phone, and I knew that my best friend, "Jeremiah", was dead.


That was when my girlfriend woke me u… Continue

On May 15th, a little after 11pm, my friend was visiting her boyfriend at his apartment one floor above her's. Her boyfriend answered the knock at the door, and there was a hispanic woman who asked for "Tommy". When the boyfriend explained that there was nobody by that name there, the girl was pushed out of the way by a black man wielding a hand-gun, who proceeded to demand money from 'Tommy'. The commotion alerted my friend's best-friend, Jeremiah, who was also living in the apartment. Seeing t… Continue

This past Beltane my best friend got married during an ADF (druid fellowship) ritual. The overall ritual was nice. The previous ADF ritual I had attended with them was really moving. This one: not quite so much. Energy was concentrated, the cauldron dressed, the maypole danced and bound, and offerings were made to the Daghda and his mistress Boan. At some point during the ritual the happy couple disappeared into the woods to exchange vows in private.

That hurt a little, I'll admit. I figured th… Continue